To:
Subject: Fwd: Art of gardening............
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 21:11:40 IST
Art of Gardening
Fwd: Art of gardening............
From: amol
To:
Subject: Fwd: Art of gardening............
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 21:11:40 IST
To:
Subject: Fwd: Art of gardening............
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 21:11:40 IST
Y its better to b a woman...? ...:-)
From : smits
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 12:57 PM
To :
CC :
Subject : Y its better to b a woman...? ...:-)
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our
calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look
like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female
figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group
shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our
privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to
picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look
like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's
spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your
problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out
of being lost is to ask for directions.
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 12:57 PM
To :
CC :
Subject : Y its better to b a woman...? ...:-)
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our
calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look
like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female
figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group
shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our
privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to
picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look
like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's
spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your
problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out
of being lost is to ask for directions.
Fwd: Fw: have fun!!!!! Keep Smiling
From : Dinesh
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 7:17 PM
To :
Subject : Fwd: Fw: have fun!!!!! Keep Smiling
Humor #1
Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho,
Aur uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?"
Humor #2
What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE -
In both caseS you feel "aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta"
Humor #3
Ek admi sadhu se bola,
meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
sadhu bola
Cool Sunny
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 7:17 PM
To :
Subject : Fwd: Fw: have fun!!!!! Keep Smiling
Humor #1
Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho,
Aur uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?"
Humor #2
What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE -
In both caseS you feel "aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta"
Humor #3
Ek admi sadhu se bola,
meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
sadhu bola
Cool Sunny
Problem With Girls
From : smits
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 11:26 AM
To :
CC :
Subject : Problem With Girls
THE PROBLEM WITH GIRLS
If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from DAR-ES-SALAAM.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, she says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u
If u don't make love with her, she says ! u don't Love her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
IS THERE ANY GIRL WHO DARES TO SAY THATS
NOT TRUE?? ........ NO ONE RIGHT...
THANK YOU FOR READING & ENJOY
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 11:26 AM
To :
CC :
Subject : Problem With Girls
THE PROBLEM WITH GIRLS
If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with her;
If u Don't, she says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS nicely, she says u are trying to LURE her;
If u Don't, she says u are from DAR-ES-SALAAM.
If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, she says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;
If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.
If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u
If u don't make love with her, she says ! u don't Love her;
If u do!! she says u are CHEAP.
If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.
If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;
If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;
If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.
If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;
If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;
If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
IS THERE ANY GIRL WHO DARES TO SAY THATS
NOT TRUE?? ........ NO ONE RIGHT...
THANK YOU FOR READING & ENJOY
Good one for Good laugh
From : smits
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 11:38 AM
To :
CC :
Subject : Good one for Good laugh
A guy from Uttar Pradesh (UP) was away from his family for about 4
>years while his wife was in Jaunpur (UP). At the end of 4 years he
>distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife
>had delivered a son........
>
>His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "happy
>event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years... The
>man said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife
>(good Samaritans) when men are away.
>
>The colleagues asked him,"What name will you give to the son?" The
>man explained, If its the second neighbour who has taken care, then
>the name would be DWIVEDI....., If it is the third neighbour then it
>would be TRIVEDI.....,
>If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI......, If
>its the fifth neighbour then it would be PANDEY.......
>
>After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture
>of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named MISHRA"...... And what
>if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? "Then it
>would be SHARMA"...... But what if she refuses to divulge the name
>of the neighbour? "Then the name of the child would be GUPTA"......
>If she does not remember the name then?"It is YAAD-AV.......
>
>But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? "Then it will
>be named DOSHI"....... Finally, if the child happened because of
>wife's burning desire for sex,? "Then he will be named JOSHI......
>And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy
>arrival?....
>
>
>DESHPANDEY........!!
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Friday, February 24, 2006 11:38 AM
To :
CC :
Subject : Good one for Good laugh
A guy from Uttar Pradesh (UP) was away from his family for about 4
>years while his wife was in Jaunpur (UP). At the end of 4 years he
>distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife
>had delivered a son........
>
>His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "happy
>event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years... The
>man said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife
>(good Samaritans) when men are away.
>
>The colleagues asked him,"What name will you give to the son?" The
>man explained, If its the second neighbour who has taken care, then
>the name would be DWIVEDI....., If it is the third neighbour then it
>would be TRIVEDI.....,
>If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI......, If
>its the fifth neighbour then it would be PANDEY.......
>
>After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture
>of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named MISHRA"...... And what
>if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? "Then it
>would be SHARMA"...... But what if she refuses to divulge the name
>of the neighbour? "Then the name of the child would be GUPTA"......
>If she does not remember the name then?"It is YAAD-AV.......
>
>But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? "Then it will
>be named DOSHI"....... Finally, if the child happened because of
>wife's burning desire for sex,? "Then he will be named JOSHI......
>And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy
>arrival?....
>
>
>DESHPANDEY........!!
Fwd: FW: Seriously Amazing Joke
From : durgesh
Sent : Friday, March 24, 2006 6:54 AM
To :
Subject : Fwd: FW: Seriously Amazing Joke
Youngest Son: "Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between
"Potentiality" and "Reality"?"
Dad: "I will show you"
Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Robert Redford
for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity"...
Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1
million dollars?
Daughter:" Wow! Yes! he is my fantasy!"
So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with Tom
Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million
Dollars! I would never hesitate!"
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son,
"Potentially" we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in "Reality" we
are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay.
Sent : Friday, March 24, 2006 6:54 AM
To :
Subject : Fwd: FW: Seriously Amazing Joke
Youngest Son: "Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between
"Potentiality" and "Reality"?"
Dad: "I will show you"
Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Robert Redford
for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity"...
Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1
million dollars?
Daughter:" Wow! Yes! he is my fantasy!"
So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with Tom
Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million
Dollars! I would never hesitate!"
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son,
"Potentially" we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in "Reality" we
are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay.
Fwd: [telecom_2005re-vamped] Sardarji's are always the best
From : durgesh
Sent : Monday, February 13, 2006 5:52 PM
To :
Subject : Fwd: [telecom_2005re-vamped] Sardarji's are always the best
Sent : Monday, February 13, 2006 5:52 PM
To :
Subject : Fwd: [telecom_2005re-vamped] Sardarji's are always the best
CHEMISTRY OF LOVE!
From : smits
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Wednesday, March 1, 2006 8:35 AM
To :
CC :
Subject : CHEMISTRY OF LOVE!
CHEMISTRY OF LOVE!
SYMBOL : ILU
ATOMIC NUMBER : 2
ATOMIC WEIGHT : Varies from Couple To couple
POSITION ON PERIODIC TABLE : Close To The Heart
OCCURANCE : Occurs In highly Reactive State , CoLLeGe CoMpOuNDs ,CiNeMa HaLLs,
PaRks and BusS stOps!
METHOD OF PREPERATION :
a) : by the action of beauty upon heart. An Exothermic reaction resulting in the
higher rate of blood circulation and Faster heart beat!
b) : by the combination of two complex compounds..commonly known as a Boy and a
Girl!
CATALYST USED : Friends,Cousins,Movies,Restaurants and a highly active
imagination!
REDUCING AGENTS : Parents,Teachers,Neighbours and Society!
GIRL + PARENTS ---> EXPLOSION + LOSS OF SALINE WATER FROM TEAR GLANDS
BOY + REDUCING AGENT ---> REBELLIONS
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES :
a) : Gas at human temperature
b) : COLOUR : Varing shades of Pink
c) : ODOUR : Strong enough to sweep one off one's feet
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES :
a) : ACTION ON SCIENTISTS : LOVE + SCIENTIST ---> PHILOSOPHER
b) : ACTION ON TEENAGERS : LOVE + TEENAGER ---> POET
c) : REACTS VIGOROUSLY WITH SUPPRESSION
d) : CANNOT BE DISSOCIATED BY USE OF "SOLID" AND "BEAT" ENERGY
USES :
a) : HELPS IN FOOD ECONOMY : As One Is In LOVE ..forgets to EAT and DRINK!
b) : SMALL AND SUBTLEDOSAGE IS NECESSARY : As It Is Go0d For BODY and MIND
c) : RAW MATERIAL FOR MOVIE THEME
d) : NON-CONVENTIONAL SOURCE OF ENERGY
INFERENCE : THROUGH "CHEMISTRY" I TRIED TO DEFINE LOVE , IT STILL REMAINS
UNDEFINED
Reply-To : "smits"
Sent : Wednesday, March 1, 2006 8:35 AM
To :
CC :
Subject : CHEMISTRY OF LOVE!
CHEMISTRY OF LOVE!
SYMBOL : ILU
ATOMIC NUMBER : 2
ATOMIC WEIGHT : Varies from Couple To couple
POSITION ON PERIODIC TABLE : Close To The Heart
OCCURANCE : Occurs In highly Reactive State , CoLLeGe CoMpOuNDs ,CiNeMa HaLLs,
PaRks and BusS stOps!
METHOD OF PREPERATION :
a) : by the action of beauty upon heart. An Exothermic reaction resulting in the
higher rate of blood circulation and Faster heart beat!
b) : by the combination of two complex compounds..commonly known as a Boy and a
Girl!
CATALYST USED : Friends,Cousins,Movies,Restaurants and a highly active
imagination!
REDUCING AGENTS : Parents,Teachers,Neighbours and Society!
GIRL + PARENTS ---> EXPLOSION + LOSS OF SALINE WATER FROM TEAR GLANDS
BOY + REDUCING AGENT ---> REBELLIONS
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES :
a) : Gas at human temperature
b) : COLOUR : Varing shades of Pink
c) : ODOUR : Strong enough to sweep one off one's feet
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES :
a) : ACTION ON SCIENTISTS : LOVE + SCIENTIST ---> PHILOSOPHER
b) : ACTION ON TEENAGERS : LOVE + TEENAGER ---> POET
c) : REACTS VIGOROUSLY WITH SUPPRESSION
d) : CANNOT BE DISSOCIATED BY USE OF "SOLID" AND "BEAT" ENERGY
USES :
a) : HELPS IN FOOD ECONOMY : As One Is In LOVE ..forgets to EAT and DRINK!
b) : SMALL AND SUBTLEDOSAGE IS NECESSARY : As It Is Go0d For BODY and MIND
c) : RAW MATERIAL FOR MOVIE THEME
d) : NON-CONVENTIONAL SOURCE OF ENERGY
INFERENCE : THROUGH "CHEMISTRY" I TRIED TO DEFINE LOVE , IT STILL REMAINS
UNDEFINED
A wife is a wife <<
From : smita
Sent : Saturday, March 18, 2006 10:39 AM
To :
Subject : A wife is a wife <<
Sent : Saturday, March 18, 2006 10:39 AM
To :
Subject : A wife is a wife <<
A Wife is a wife, no matter who you are!!
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Smart Sardarji...
From : smita
Sent : Saturday, March 18, 2006 10:42 AM
To :
Subject : Smart Sardarji...
Â
Smart Sardar ji
A Sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji. Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike. Iqbal's guards take the bags and rips them apart; empty them out and find nothing in them but sand. He detains the Sardarji overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the Sardarji, puts the sand into new bags, heaves them on to the Sardarji 's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?
'Sand,' says the Sardarji. Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardarji, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji, doesn't show up and one day and the guard meets him in a 'dhaba' in Islamabad. 'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?' The Sardarji, sips his Lassi and says, 'bikes'. . . . . . . . . . . .
Â
Dekha SARDAR bhi smart hote hai
Sent : Saturday, March 18, 2006 10:42 AM
To :
Subject : Smart Sardarji...
Â
Smart Sardar ji
A Sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard Iqbal stops him and says, What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji. Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike. Iqbal's guards take the bags and rips them apart; empty them out and find nothing in them but sand. He detains the Sardarji overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the Sardarji, puts the sand into new bags, heaves them on to the Sardarji 's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?
'Sand,' says the Sardarji. Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardarji, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji, doesn't show up and one day and the guard meets him in a 'dhaba' in Islamabad. 'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?' The Sardarji, sips his Lassi and says, 'bikes'. . . . . . . . . . . .
Â
Dekha SARDAR bhi smart hote hai
Is duniya mein apna kya hai..............!!!
From : smita
Sent : Saturday, March 18, 2006 11:27 AM
To :
Subject : Is duniya mein apna kya hai..............!!!
Koi aahat nahi raahen sunsan hein,
Aarzoo ke nagar sare viran hai,...
Kya kahen sochke hum bhi hairan hein,..
Is tarah kitne din kis tarah hum jiye.
raah takte hai jane kiske liye...
Sent : Saturday, March 18, 2006 11:27 AM
To :
Subject : Is duniya mein apna kya hai..............!!!
Is duniya mein apna kya hai.,
Kehne ko sub kuch apna hai,
Koi aahat nahi raahen sunsan hein, Aarzoo ke nagar sare viran hai,...
Kya kahen sochke hum bhi hairan hein,..
Is tarah kitne din kis tarah hum jiye.raah takte hai jane kiske liye...
Door tak ab koi sang saathi nahi,
koi deepak nahi koi vaadi nahi,
kya kare zindgi ye batati nahi...
koi deepak nahi koi vaadi nahi,
kya kare zindgi ye batati nahi...
gham jo itne zahar hai koi kab tak piye
raah takte hai hum jane kiske liye...
Raat dhalne lagi bujh gaye hein diye,..
Raah bhatakte hai hum jane kiske liye...
raah takte hai hum jane kiske liye...
Raat dhalne lagi bujh gaye hein diye,..Raah bhatakte hai hum jane kiske liye...