FW: Beware of Kids

from to		Vikas
date		Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 8:00 AM
subject		FW: Beware of Kids

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass -Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

FW: MUSHARRAF, AFTER RESIGNING

Thanks & Regards,

Amit

FW: Men and Women...

from Vikas to date Fri, Sep 19, 2008 at 7:00 AM subject FW: Men and Women...

NICKNAMES
If Priya, Shilpa and Swati go out for lunch, they will call each other Priya, Shilpa and Swati.
If Amit, John and Rahul go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.



EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Amit, John and Rahul will each throw in Rs. 100, even though it's only for Rs. 232.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will want the change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



MONEY
A man will pay Rs. 200 for a Rs. 100 item he needs.
A woman will pay Rs. 100 for a Rs. 200 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.




OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, their best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!





Now, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.