My Emails

Taking the email fwding to a different level...Fwded emails (from humor to tips to speeches to pictures ...) I thought to be worth sharing. NOTHING is my original work. If you've the copyrights of the content, let me know and I'd specify so in the post. AND if you do not want your content blogged, just comment so.
"fwd this to every alive and dead else": I've received so many chain emails that they're no longer frustrating. Now they amuse me. By posting them here, I don't encourage them!

FW: i swallowed a mosquito..interesting.....

From: Vikas
Date: Wed, Aug 11, 2010 at 1:59 AM
Subject: FW: i swallowed a mosquito..interesting.....
To:

Read from the bottom… I m not sure which company these guys r in… probably Infy!!!

From: Sachin
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 2:46 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Brother tomorrow early morning you will get the status of the predator whose now a prey. You know mosquitoes lay eggs in dark damp and smelly stinking places. Is your stomach one of those J

From: Jaidev
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 2:38 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Wud the mosy be wearing round glasses??
And wud the road be named M.G. Road ( Mosquito with glasses Road)??

From: Anita
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 2:28 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: RE: I swallowed a mosquito

Hello ,

You mean a martydom?

Mosquito schools will have this poem in their text book

Mosquito- [Name] ka yeh balidaan

yaad karega hindustan

AVR

PS : Jus like Gandhi, the mosquito species would have hung a photo of this mosquito in their schools and principal's rooms.

Also there will be a road named by this mosquito... And many more . . ..

From: Debashish
Posted At: Wed 2/27/2008 2:20 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Kudos..to the brave mosquito..
Sacrificed own life to be a hot topic for discussion on BB…really champo…

Thanks | Regards

Debashish

From: Amrita
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 2:15 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

I saw lot of kids doing that..my brother is one of them….

Nothing happened to him…there is no need of a proof…its tried and tested…

From: Praveen
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 2:09 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

How do you know??
Is there any scientific reason or proof for it?

From: Amrita
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 2:06 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

What???? Its dead for guarantee…forget about it.. it cant survive inside stomach…..

From: Sudharshana
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 1:43 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

From: Sudharshana
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 1:42 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject:

If you manage to catch the mosquito alive...
Take a rope..
Tie itz hands and legs to de bed post,
and tickle it with a quill…
find out why "nosedived" into your mouth !!!;)

From: Veena
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 1:34 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Was he sleeping while riding the bike!! Dangerous!!!

From: Shilpa
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 12:46 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

OMG!!
Helmet while sleeping also?:(

From: Veena
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 12:40 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Is it biting you in ur stomach?? And u weren't wearing a helmet!!

From: Manogna
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 12:37 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: RE: I swallowed a mosquito-Possibility?

i dont know abt swalloing a mosquito but many a times musquitoes have gone inside my ears in the night while i am asleep.Trust me that is really bad.. the ear feels heavy and when u r walking the ear vibrates so much

From: Hemanth
Posted At: Wed 2/27/2008 12:33 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito-Possibility?

Hope that the Mosquito was not an experimental kind/genetically altered mutant/radioactive one escaped from a highly secret facility. Or else this could be the birth of the "Mosquitoman".

From: Anita
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 12:23 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito- BEST SOLUTION

Hello ,

Have a kachuwa coil - that too a fresh and hot one . . .

Kachuwa jalaao machar bhagaao

AVR

PS : Sorry for the pure (poor) Hindi syntax

From: Karthik
Posted At: Wed 2/27/2008 12:02 PM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

My suggestion is to consult a doctor, an Animal Doctor and ask him, what is the diet which you should take to keep the mosquito surviving (Mosquito's intake will now depend upon ur diet intake now!!!!)..

Till the mosquito is out its your responsibility now!!! J

Keep us updated….

Cheers,
Karthik
PS: I m an animal activist -:P

From: Hameed
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 11:33 AM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Come on guys, our pal george is panicked bcoz he's swallowed a mosquito and we people are pulling his legs. Hey george better consult a doc,prevention is better than cure I hope you know that.

P.S-cover ur mouth while yawning next time JJJ

From: Ravikiran
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 11:25 AM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Last weeks solution for swallowing a chewing gum was

"Drink some soap solution…… It goes out faster than a rocket. Tup dishhhhhhhhh "

Probably you can try this J

From: Iram
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 11:05 AM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Depends….Malaria, Failaria, Yellow fever, Chikangunya and other sort of diseases may happen to the mosquito if its still alive in your stomach

From: Shilpa
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 11:00 AM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Was that a female or a male mosquito..?
If Female-Anopheles..then..Malaria guaranteeJ
Take care maaDi..
NOM!!

From: George
Posted At: Wednesday, February 27, 2008 10:56 AM
Posted To: KEC General
Conversation: I swallowed a mosquito
Subject: I swallowed a mosquito

Was coming to campus today on a bike riding pillion and as I was yawning, a hapless mosquito nosedived into my mouth. I'm still coughing – is there any other adverse effects I should watch out for? Are they poisonous?

Buzzzzzzzzz
GT

***************************************************************

Lateral Thinking : Really a nice one ...

From: Amit
Date: Tue, Aug 17, 2010 at 4:08 AM
Subject: Lateral Thinking : Really a nice one ...
To:

Many years ago in a small Indian village,

A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.

He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.

The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses The above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Try to answer before scrolling down.

Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
© Sayeed™ ®

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.

Good Morning..

From: Vikas
Date: Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 12:35 AM
Subject: Good Morning..
To:

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

……Tagore

Latest Amul ads

From: jaa
Date: Sat, Aug 21, 2010 at 12:43 PM
Subject: Latest Amul ads
To:

Trust you shall find this tasteful & uttterly butterly delicious!!!!!!!!!

FW: No Farting!!! ;-)

From:
Date: Thu, Aug 19, 2010 at 6:25 AM
Subject: FW: No Farting!!! ;-)
To:

superb one!!!

You will laugh your heads out after you finish reading this! (Nice One from Reader's Digest)

One day I met a sweet girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up eating beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside, I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the dinner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than stinking cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long.

She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

I nearly died!

FW: Why (How) India Works - A true story-narrrated by Shekar Kapur!

From: Vikas
Date: Mon, Aug 23, 2010 at 1:06 AM
Subject: FW: Why (How) India Works - A true story-narrrated by Shekar Kapur!
To:

Why (How) India Works- Shekhar Kapur film director.

A Blackberry addict discovers grassroots enterprise in India- Shekhar Kapur

A greater ‘hole in the wall’ you cannot imagine. A small fading sign on the top saying “Cellphoon reapars” barely visible through the street vendors crowding the Juhu Market in Mumbai. On my way to buy a new Blackberry, my innate sense of adventure (foolishness) made me stop my car and investigate. A shop not more than 6 feet by 6 feet.Grimy and uncleaned.

‘Can you fix a Blackberry?” ‘ Of course , show me”

” How old are you” ‘Sixteen’

Bullshit. He was no more than 10. Not handing my precious blackberry to a 10 year old in unwashed and torn T shirt and pyjamas! At least if I buy a new one, they would extract the data for me. Something I have been meaning to do for a year now.

‘What’s wrong with it ?”

‘Well, the roller track ball does not respond. It’s kind of stuck and I cannot operate it”

He grabs it from my hand and looks at it “You should wash your hands. Many customers have same problem. Roller ball get greasy and dirty, then no working’

Look who was telling me to wash my hands. He probably has not bathed for 10 days, I leaned out to snatch my useless blackberry back. ” You come back in one hour and I fix it’

I am not leaving all my precious data in this unwashed kid’s hands for an hour. No way.

“Who will fix it ?” ‘Big brother’ ‘ How big is ‘big brother?’ ‘big …. Umm ..thirty’ Then suddenly big brother walks in. 30 ??? He is no more than 19.

‘What problem ?’ He says grabbing the phone from my greasy hand into his greasier hand. Obviously not trained in etiquette by an upmarket retail store manager.

‘Normal blackberry problem. I replace with original part now. You must wash your hand before you use this’. What is this about me washing my hands suddenly ?? 19 year old big brother rummages through a dubious drawer full of junk and fishes out a spare roller ball packed in cheap cellophane wrapper. Original part ? I doubt it.

But by now I am in the lap of the real India and there is no escape as he fishes out a couple of screwdrivers and sets about opening my Blackberry.

“How long will this take ?” ”Six minutes ”

This I have to see. After spending the whole morning trying to find a Blackberry service centre and getting vague answers about sending the phone in for an assessment that might take a week, I settle down next to his grubby cramped work space. At least I am going to be able to watch all my stored data vanish into virtual space. People crowd around to see what’s happening. I am not breathing easy anyway. I tell myself this is an adventure and literally have to stop myself grabbing my precious Blackberry back and making a quick escape.

But in exactly six minutes this kid handed my Blackberry back. He had changed the part and cleaned and serviced the whole phone. Taken it apart, and put it together. As I turned the phone on there was a horrific 2 minutes where the phone would not come on. I looked at him with such hostility that he stepped back.

‘you have more than thousand phone numbers ?” ‘yes’.

‘backed up ?’ ‘no’

‘Must back up. I do it for you. Never open phone before backing up’

‘You tell me that now?’

But then the phone came on and my data was still there. Everyone watching laughed and clapped. This was becoming a show. A six minute show.

I asked him how much. ‘500 rupees’ He ventured uncertainly . People around watched in glee expecting a negotiation. I was about to spend on a new Blackberry or a couple of weeks without my phone. I looked suitably shocked at his ‘high price ‘ but calmly paid him. Much to the disappointment of the expectant crowd.

‘do you have an I-Phone ? Even the new ‘4′ one? ‘no, why”

‘I break the code for you and load any ‘app’ or film you want. I give you 10 film on your memory stick on this one, and change every week for small fee’

I went home having discovered the true entrepreneurship that lies at what we call the ‘bottom of the pyramid’. Some may call it piracy, which of course it is, but what can you say about two uneducated and untrained brothers aged 10 and 19 that set up a ‘hole in the wall’shop and can fix any technology that the greatest technologists in the world can throw at them. I smiled at the future of our country. If only we could learn to harness this potential.

‘Please wash your hands before use’ were his last words to me. Now I am feeling seriously unclean.