Fwd: GOOD ONE

Fwd: GOOD ONE
hemang
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 8:04:40 AM
To:

Note: forwarded message attached.

THE DONKEY


One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.




He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.



As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the
animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of
the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to
getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.






Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less

NOW --------Be a good Donkey and send it across to all the donkeys you Know.... Think like a donkey.....does this make sense....If you think 'no' than something is wrong with your senses.....






You have two choices...smile and close this page, or pass this along to someone else to spread the fun. I know what I did!!




Gap

Fwd: Will you please clear these doubts of mine?

Fwd: Will you please clear these doubts of mine?
hemang
Sunday, July 30, 2006 12:01:42 PM
To:

Subject: Will you please clear these doubts of mine?

1. If all the nations in the world are in debt (am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)

3. What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)

4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

5. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6. Can you cry under water? (let me try)

7. Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else)

8. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

9. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

10. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)

11. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)

12. What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)

13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oils made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

14. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)

15. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )
16. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
17. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
18. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! Able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
19. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
20. Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? (very nice)
21. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)
22. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)
23. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars?

Fwd: Gujju Smile

Fwd: Gujju Smile
hemang
Thursday, August 3, 2006 11:03:24 PM
To:jignesh


HI FRIENDS I HOPE YOU WILL ENJOY THIS......


~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mara maran par tame aansoo na bahavsho,
Mara maran par dosto gam na karsho..
..Mari yad aave to sidha upar j aavjo!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jivan maa JAS nathi,
Prem maa RAS nathi;
Dhandha maa KAS nathi,
Javu chhe swarg maa,
pan eni koi BUS nathi..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

G - gentle
U - understanding
J - jolly
A - adorable
R - royal
A - aggresive
T - tough
I - intelligent
This much quality only 1 cast have,
Yes, its GUJARATI..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bolya kare a maitri,
chup rahe a prem
milan karave a maitri,
judai satave a prem
hasave a maitri,
radave a prem,
to pan loko maitri mukine kem kare chhe prem??!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gujju Premi: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa,
kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch mitha sa kaho!

Premika: DHOKLA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Inglish !

These four classified ads appeared in a local newspaper on four consecutive days.

The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.

MONDAY: For sale: SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 25550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred In SK Shah's ad yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM."

WEDNESDAY: Notice: SK Shah has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale: SK Shah has A sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 25550707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him."

THURSDAY Notice: I, SK Shah, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 25550707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shu karu fariyaad tari,
Fariyaad ma yaad chhe
Fari fari ne yaad tari,
Ej mari fariyaad chhe!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gujju Smiles! ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dictionary:
Sano...........Snow
Egg-joss.......Exhaust
Fota...........Photos
Lipti..........Lipstick
Phast..........Fast
Phlowur........Flower
Gilas..........Glass
Palty..........Party
Gorment........Goverment
Peeja..........Pizza
Punch..........Sponge
Die Vos........Divorce
New Brand......Brand New
Istill.........Steel
Bowel..........Bowl
Jee TV.........Zee TV
Juniversity....University
Istawbury......Strawberry
Isscooter......Scooter
dismiss........Screwdriver
Kale...........Tommorrow and Yesterday
Vija...........Visa

Fwd: Pretty clever

Fwd: Pretty clever
hemang shah
Thursday, August 24, 2006 12:52:42 PM
To:


Read out loud the text inside the triangle below.

More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and........
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see
that the word THE is repeated twice!
Sorry, look again.

Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?

In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil ).



Now, what do you see?


You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?

What do you see here?

This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.


Last one.
What do you see?

You probably read the word ME in brown, but.......
when you look through ME
you will see
YOU!


Do you need to look again?


Test Your Brain

This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.




ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST


Count every "
F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...


(SEE BELOW)




HOW MANY ?


*

WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !

Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.



The reasoning behind is further down.




The brain cannot process "OF".





Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!



Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Einstein's picture

Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!

Fwd: Fw: desi ingenuity

Fwd: Fw: desi ingenuity
hemang
Thursday, August 24, 2006 12:54:35 PMTo:
To:


An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Indian replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" Ah, the mind of the Indian........................

Fwd: General Motor\'s response to Microsoft ! old one but hilarious!

Fwd: General Motor\'s response to Microsoft ! old one but hilarious!
hemang
ednesday, September 13, 2006 7:49:43 AM
To:


Funny!!!
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Fwd: [Fun_4_Amdavadi_Gujarati] Be Clear...

Fwd: [Fun_4_Amdavadi_Gujarati] Be Clear...
Friday, October 6, 2006 7:49:55 AM
To:


This is what happened when a certain Company posted the following memo:

OFFICE MEMO:

May all members of staff please note that there will only be one drink per person at this year's Christmas Party.

And please bring your own cup !

Regards,

Management


Then scroll down…………………











grammar checker for openoffice...

grammar checker for openoffice...
hemang
Sunday, October 29, 2006 2:41:30 AM
To:jignesh

http://lingucomponent.openoffice.org/grammar.html

Deadly answer.. hehehe...

Fwd: Deadly answer.. hehehe...
hemang
Friday, November 3, 2006 12:32:39 PM
To:

Project Manager working in a MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee.

He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. so he decides to have fun with him. He calls him.

Project Manager :- (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?

Canteen boy smiles...

Project Manager :- what are your future plans?

Canteen boy keeps quiet...

Project Manager :- where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?

Canteen boy gives a cold stare.

Project Manager:- Jab mai Puna.. aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi
tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai... naam hai, shohrat hai, paisa
hai....

tumhare paas kya hai?

Scroll down to find out his answer
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Don't think that he answered like Shashi Kapoor of Deewar ki "Mere paas
Maa hain"

Scroll some more
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Canteen boy :- Saab mere paas kaam hai....

Project Manager leaves the cafeteria silently.......


--
Regards,
Amol Shirsat

----- End forwarded message -----

Fwd: Newton commits suicide...

Fwd: Newton commits suicide...
From: hemang
Date: Tuesday, March 13, 2007 11:05:50 AM
To:


Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....


Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes

1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's
surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!
Long Live Rajanikanth!


2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.


3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and
catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman
techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain
because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.


Newton commits suicide...

FW: 3D Image: Spot the person

From : Amit
Sent : Wednesday, February 14, 2007 7:08 AM
To :
Subject : FW: 3D Image: Spot the person

Attachment : ATT1114372.jpg (0.03 MB), ATT1114373.gif (0.02 MB)


Observe this 3D Picture Carefully, and try to find a Person.
Don't cheat by scrolling down and looking at the answer. Use your brain..



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Unable to find the person..?

Actually he is swimming underwater....
You'll be able to see him after he comes to the surface again!!



Regards,

Amit

Fwd: FW: Have a nice day!

Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2007 05:21:57 -0800 (PST)
From:hemang
Subject: Fwd: FW: Have a nice day!
To:

I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS (khechdee for us) TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.



FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.



FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED

.
FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.


FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME


.
FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

.
FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION


.
FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.



FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.



FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.





FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.




AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL

BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.


SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.
I JUST DID.


Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

Fwd: FW: Cake or Bed

Date: Wed, 7 Feb 2007 04:52:49 -0800 (PST)
From:hemang
Subject: Fwd: FW: Cake or Bed
To:


CAKE OR BED

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,

HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON'T THINK SO.

FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO

FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK. I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS.

HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO
I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.................................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.

AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.

AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?


SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED.

JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.

HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?

SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO...DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!

HOW OBSERVANT YOU RE ALLY ARE.

From : anju
Sent : Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:55 PM
To :
Subject : HOW OBSERVANT YOU RE ALLY ARE


LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU RE ALLY ARE .

Here we go!


1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?

2. How many states are there in the USA ? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)



3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty 's torch?

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell 's soup label?

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?


6. When you walk does your left arm swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?



9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?


10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?

13 On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?

14. Which way do fans rotate?

15 How many sides does a stop sign have?

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?

17 How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

21 On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?

22 On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

SARDAR WITH HIS INTELLIGENCE

From : Dinesh Shah
Sent : Sunday, February 11, 2007 1:33 AM
To :
Subject : SARDAR WITH HIS INTELLIGENCE

American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.

Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler

Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

Two sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Doctor to Sardar : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him.
“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.”
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till €evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright

interesting

From : anju
Sent : Sunday, February 11, 2007 1:27 AM
Subject : interesting


----------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: SLOW DOWN, READ & DIGEST THIS
Someone sent this from Sweden
It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule. Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a
slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third.
One morning I asked,

"Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied,

"Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will
be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think?"

Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe , as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means re-establishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values,
the simplicity of living. It stands for a less coercive work environment, more
happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do.

It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.
Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time.

Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

FW: Believe it or not___BUT iTS TRuE..

From : Amit Kulkarni
Sent : Thursday, February 1, 2007 7:44 AM
To :
Subject : FW: Believe it or not___BUT iTS TRuE..


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FW: BEWAFA...Ye tune kya kiya

From : Amit Kulkarni
Sent : Thursday, February 1, 2007 7:45 AM
To :
Subject : FW: BEWAFA...Ye tune kya kiya

Attachment : ATT2889676.jpg (0.04 MB)

BEWAFA.....Ye tune kya kiya

FW: Hey... plz ,learn n pass it on!

From : Amit Kulkarni
Sent : Thursday, January 18, 2007 6:36 AM
To :
Subject : FW: Hey... plz ,learn n pass it on!

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Hi All,

Pls Pass it on!!!

This is a real incident that happened in a local hospital in Bangalore, India. A 4 year old girl was admitted due to leg fracture. As it was an open fracture, she had to undergo an operation to stitch the protruding bone back in place. Though it was quite a minor operation, she was hooked on to life support system, as a part of the process. The doctors had to input some data prior to the operation to suit different conditions. Thereafter, the operation proceeded. Half way through the process, the life support system suddenly went dead.

The culprit: - Some one was using his/her hand-phone outside the operation theatre. And the frequency had affected the system. They tried to track the fellow but to no avail. The little girl, young and innocent as she was, died soon after.

"Be compassionate! Do not use your hand phone /mobiles especially at any hospitals or within the Aircraft or any places where you are told not to use it... You might not be caught in the act, but you might have killed someone without knowing". Sometimes it's a matter of Life & Death....!!!!

Please pass this to as many, since most of us are just not aware of the seriousness of this issue.

Please Don't Delete. Please Send this to all your contacts and help save a life


Thanks & Regards,
Amit A Kulkarni

FW: Some people are never satisfied........

From : Amit Kulkarni
Sent : Wednesday, January 17, 2007 6:23 AM
To : , , , , ,
Subject : FW: Some people are never satisfied........

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Thanks & Regards,
Amit A Kulkarni